Monday, February 1, 2010

Feb 1: As Elmer Fudd would say, "Ahhhhh, Some west and wewaxation"

Today was nice. We got to sleep in a bit so instead of giving you a bloe-by-bloe account of our adventures in India, we thought we would just string together some random thoughts from our trip. By the way, our night ended with Martin's brother in law, George, saying, "Damn! That was some bloody good ice cream. With the chocolate chips and chocolate syrup...I could have licked the plate clean." George is 72. And now, on to some random thoughts...

The human race needs to stop procreating, specifically in India. There needs to be a 10 year ban on having new kids. And a lifetime ban if you are homeless. -Mark

You know you're in a third world country when sidewalk vendors out number actual shops. -Mitch

If you're complaining about a bed, remember, YOU'RE COMPLAINING ABOUT A BED. 40% of Indians (ok that might be a stretch) are happy with a nice piece of cardboard between them and the sidewalk. -Mark

If nothing else, homeless pople in India are fantastifc sleepers. I've never seen anyone sleep completely covered in a thin blanket with the caucaphony of horns that follows driving in this country. -Mitch

Of all the mustaches we've seen, I am anxiously awaiting seeing the "Snidely Whiplash"

If New Yorkers drove as many mopeds and motorcycles as they do here in India and adopted the same traffic laws, traffic would run a lot smoother and everyone would be much less stressed. -Mitch

I am hoping to rin into the Indian Ben Bailey and be on Indian Cash Cab in the back of one of the covered trike taxis.

Watching sandlot cricket games with kids living in the middle of nowhere where every house has a cow or three, makes me nostalgic to when kids used to actually call friends to play pick up games, not call them to play online video games. I hope India never comes to that. Of course that would unclog many of the streets...-Mitch

India's Hollywood culture has not evolved because everyone keeps seeing our B an C list movies here on their English channel (except for the recent showings of Raiders of the Lost Ark and Last Crusade). -Mark

I now completely trust any and all cab drivers in the US from foreign countries. Seeing how people drive here in India with an almost wild-west-type, every-man-for-himself atmosphere makes everything we see in the US make sense. It's not dangerous, it's called get to where you're going quickly, the lanes don't mean anything to me.  -Mitch

I hate mosquitoes. They're nothing more than blood sucking bastards. -Mitch and Mark

A reminder of things NOT to do in third world foreign countries: Travel down strange allies, follow strange tour guides up dark staircases into buildings with the promise of money, forget toilet paper. -Mitch

The old addage of "if you don't understand what the other person is saying just nod your head and smile" should NEVER be followed. It doesn't get anyone anywhere (This is how Jerry Seinfeld became the first pirate and wore the puffy shirt). -Mark

Mirinda is delicious and if it ever came to the USA Coke and Pepsi would be detroyed. -Mitch

The US is really in bad shape if Mark and I went to visit the US Consulate in Chennai and saw NOT 1 American! We are even outsourcing employees of our own embassy. Yeesh. -Mitch

If an 11 yr old boy can have his house washed away by a tsunami and come to develop a nasty cut shot on the hard court while wearing no shoes, your problems probably aren't as bad as you thought. -Mark

No matter how many pictures you take, they will never tell the story. Experience as much as you can and relive the good times as much as you can. -Mitch

Mark looks like Zac Efron and is now the heartthrob amongst a group of Indian schoolgirls. Read that, out loud, and try not to giggle. I can't do it. -Mitch

The only things worse than the above statement is Mitch knew who Zac Efron was and Mark didn't so by that statement, Mitch has more in common with Indian school girls than once thought. Awesome.-Mark

Americans need to get over the phobia of going barefoot. -Mark

If Indians can get around safely with virtually no laws, riding 4-5 people on a motorcycle, and paying no attention whatsoever to "lanes" or using directionals on their cars, I think we can get rid of some of the traffic  laws we have in the US that are meant to further plunder money from its citizens. hey police and politicians, WE ARE NOT ATM's there to provide you with more money, Use what you have more efficiently. -Mitch

Try learning a few words in the country you are in. Any time you use them the people you are with will like you even more. -Mitch

Have I mentioned Mark was compared to Zac Efron? -Mitch

Being in India has made us both realize one thing. Get over yourself. Whatever you are going through, even if it is difficult, there really are people worse off with much better attitiudes about their situation. Just find a way.

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